Today, I went for a walk with my anxiety into the woods. I have been feeling a bit stressed for the past week and my body had a hard time calming down last night, so it took me ages to fall asleep. Every time that happens, my anxiety rises to a level, where I find it hard to find my center again.
I woke up this morning feeling like I had run a marathon (I have not been doing any kind of exercise yesterday whatsoever!) and with a headache. I was planning on going into town for some shopping (that was mainly to please my ego) but my soul told me otherwise. So, I started my day with mindfulness for 15 min and listened to relaxing music. Trying to find out, what my body was telling me to do. I felt the anxiety in my head and my body and found it very annoying. I put on my clothes and went for a walk with my anxiety.
Hand in hand with my anxiety and into the forest I went. Scared and alert I went into the darkest part of the forest – my brain told me to turn back and my anxiety told me that I would probably die if I went into that part of the forest! I get very tired of my anxiety – I know it’s trying to protect me but please, just let me enjoy a freaking walk!
So, I kept on walking and I went further into the forest.
I didn’t really wear the right shoes for the occasion, so I kept tumbling on the wet and uneven ground and for some reason I wore my best pants as well, which I cannot recommend under any circumstances – all I thought about was that I had to wash them when I got back home! The forest was humid and full of mosquitoes. Every time I stepped into the shadows of the trees the mosquitoes attacked me like wild dogs – if someone had seen me it would probably have been a hilarious sight of a person in her best pants waving at mosquitoes while trying to find her center!
But, it was beautiful there – in the forest. And among my thoughts of “I might die here” and “I wonder if the ticks will bite me” I found my center – I found my heart and reconnected with my soul. I managed to take a few pictures of the forest. I saw animals and reconnected with the trees.
I survived! Perhaps, the forest is a great sybolism for life. If you seek the dark and humid parts of the forest, the mosquitoes will find you and they will bite! So, try and stay in the sunshine if you ever find yourself a bit lost in a forest (or bring mosquito spray!)
Below you find a few of the photos I took. I have also listed the kind of music I listen to when I feel that my body and mind are a bit stressed 🙂
By the way, you should listen to Jonna Jinto. She has this amazing voice and sings something called “Kulning” – check it out. If I had her singing voice I would be in the forest doing that frequently!.